still dying

You know what, still am not getting any where with my life. Still stagnant, still dying.

what frustrate me the most is, how much I am actually trying, and it is like living in difficult mode, and i have no idea how to get to the next level. how i hard i have tried, it will never be good enough, like something, a glitch of some sort is holding me back.

And I do realise, for a fact, that the thing that is holding me back is not something, or anyone else but me. I confess, it’s depression and anxiety but other than WebMD, i have nothing to prove of it. I Rather stand up against it with tears in my eye and shaky leg because falling isn’t an option, it’s a weakness.

when people ask, I keep being Professor X in XMen: Days of Future Past, pointing at my heart and saying there is something wrong in here.

I am not Professor X. I am a girl made up of shattered hope and broken dreams, of false hope and a smack of reality.

So again, I am going back to the drawing block.

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